Day 2
Today was a little bit harder. Being ill fills me with the need for comfort food. There isn't a lot of comfort food that is low carb and/or good for me. Today I had 4 pieces of cheese for breakfast, 10 meatballs for late lunch or early dinner, 3 of those little bags of trail mix, some more cheese, and 2 pieces of whole grain toast. I also ate the meatballs past full, and wasn't totally hungry again when I had the trail mix. No exercise today, but that is still in part because of my back pain, and it is impossible for me to use the gazelle without using my arm.
In the Bible again in Romans 6 I read that "what fruit had ye then in those things of which I am now ashamed? for the end of those things are death. For me not just spiritual death but literal death. Being fat will kill me. " but now that i have been made free sin and become a servant to God I have my fruit unto holiness and the end everlasting life. " I don't feel free yet, I feel like I am anchored down in my rebellious heart, striving to shed it behind me like a shed skin. I want to be free of this burden, to be holy, to automatically make the right choice. I want to be the new woman only. Earlier in the chapter is says that my old man has been crucified, that the body of sin might be destroyed and that henceforth I will not serve sin. I must meditate upon this, maybe it will keep me from picking up wrong food choices. I don't need to struggle with this, it has been crucified with Jesus. I keep putting myself there, the old man tied to my back like they used to do with the murderer and his victim. Why do I cling to my dead and rotting old man?
I am getting in the scripture, but not until I sit to do this blog. I need it to be the first part of my day, not the end. I need to continue trying to only eat when hungry, and hopefully find foods that are more appropriate for my health issues. I am finding that I really really have to work on getting the veggies in. maybe that will be my goal for next week instead. I need to remind myself to do too much at a time.